Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Growing like a weed

S: You could say we have green thumbs. We're very good at growing weeds.

S: Winter left us with a pretty sad lawn, but magically, at the first sign of warm weather, a blanket of weeds sprung up. I'm just grateful that the worst of the weeds are confined to the backyard, leaving our frontyard looking somewhat respectable.
At 43 inches, I think this may just hold the record for tallest residential weed...

Z: We have to give weeds some credit as masters of stealth. Similar to the rabbit, or more aptly, the roach, the weed simply takes to the tactic of living to germinate, you know, weed sex. One weed in your yard recieves pollen from another and the lovemaking weeds soon spread their progeny all over God's green earth making it more, uh, green. And ugly. Below, you can see a dramatic interpretation of the weeds desire to rule the planet.
Z: Since weeds only care about sex and reproduction they are luckily shallow, in their root system of course. They are also shallow morally, but I won't proselytize you weed lovers out there. After a few hours of pulling, tugging, and some minor digging, I had uprooted the majority of the weeds.

S: Now if we could just keep them from coming back...
Z: That's easy Sarah! We can teach the weeds about birth control and monogamy. Or we can spread atrazine everywhere and destroy them. Seeing that weeds can't hear and are also pagans, we'll go with the weed and feed and burn them out


  1. Oh my gosh, you guys are so funny. I almost fell out of my chair laughing at the picture of Zach. I love it:)

  2. Very creepy weed! Great before and after pictures...you yard look so much better and so fast :) Would you like to come pick my weeds too? Mrs. W

  3. I propose this SAT analogy:

    PS: I think Zach wrote a lot of this with the help of a dictionary and/or thesaurus.